Wish Goals

I love wish goals. I am a dreamer. I love to see my wishes "manifest". I've spent a lot of time with wish goals, and I've had the opportunity to see some of my wishes come true.

With wish goals, some people recommend that you dream big. If you are not super-excited about your wish, it's because it's not big enough, they say. Others recommend starting small in order to build up confidence in your ability to pre-visualize your life. Once you see small success, you get motivated to work on bigger dreams.

I guess it depends on your situation. If you haven't seen goals accomplished, then you may want to start small. But if you are bored with your goal, you might want to make it brighter, bigger and more colorful.

I always loved the stories of people who got three wishes. What would I do with my three wishes? Of course, in the story, the wisher almost always blows one or two wishes on something stupid, which made me angry. If I had that opportunity, I would take the time to ask for some really great stuff, I thought.

In fact, when I started learning about "mind power", I did take the time to ask for some really great stuff. And some of it I received in such a way that it cemented my belief in the power of the mind. After studying and practicing more about mind power, meditation and hypnosis, I learned that our emotions and thoughts are constantly sending signals that have an impact on the direction of our experience within the flow of life.

I used to be a river guide and kayak instructor. What I learned to do was to control my body and my boat on the river, and to work with the river to control my destination. But one thing that we couldn't control was the river. And when we look at ourselves within the flow of life, we can gain greater control over the destinations and increase our enjoyment of the ride, but there are some things we cannot control. But once we accept that, we can improve our ability to read the flow and make the best choices for ourselves.


Making wish goals a pro-active practice is a way to become conscious of the stream of thoughts and emotions. And by getting clear on what you want, you begin to gain competence in directing yourself within the flow of life.

What's great about wish goals is they really don't have to be realistic at all. But all goals, including wish goals should be: Specific, positive-voice, and in present tense.


Additionally, you must "act as if" you already have the dream; you must inhabit the reality of the wish as much as you are able. More about these in a moment.


The most important thing about wish goals is to get emotionally involved with it. Wish goals don't have to be realistic, because what really makes wish goals work is EMOTION. For example, you may wish you could fly. And you don't mean in an airplane, you mean like a bird or an angel or superman. But if you close your eyes and really feel yourself flying as in your wish, what you have is the emotion of flying, what flying represents to you. And that is something actually unique and definitely real. And you may not get your actual wish, but what you really desire is the emotion that you connect with flying. And you can absolutely have that emotional experience. And by wishing to fly and getting connected with it emotionally, you find yourself drawn toward actual experiences that give you that specific emotional connection.

Problems with unrealistic goals include a) you may dismiss and easily give up on it and b) it is probably not specific, therefore you never connect it with anything... it's like a dream that you forget when you wake up or will-o-wisp that you follow until you are lost in the woods. But if you remember that wish goals help you to trigger emotions, it can be fun and extremely practical. Because if you want to get very real, behind or underneath every goal is an emotional experience that you want; and if you don't get that emotional experience when you reach your goal, you will feel unfulfilled. Ultimately, the emotion is the goal. Therefore you can always have what you want.

Now back to nuts and bolts.

Be specific. If you want to be rich, what does that mean to you? How will you know that you are rich? If it's money, how much money? Whatever it is you want, try to narrow your focus down to something very specific. The more specific it is, the more real it is, and the more power you have to inhabit the reality.

Positive-voice. This means focus on what you want, rather than what you don't want. If you find some of your goals are negative, such as I don't like living here, try to imagine where you do want to live.

Use the present tense. The only real time is the now. If you think about wanting something in the future, it will always be in the future-- as in imaginary.

Two other ideas will help you with your goals: That is to specify a time that you have or do or accomplish your wish goal; and to make your goal measurable. Again, making your goal more specific.

However, these last two may be more important for drafting concrete goals. Remember, wish goals are mostly about the emotion.

Concrete goals are more about making it real.

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Goals

There are four basic kinds of goals, which I call End Goals, Process Goals, Wish Goals and Concrete Goals. They are really two pairs of two goals.

The first pair, End and Process Goals, are different in relation to time. End Goals are a one-time event, but Process Goals are ongoing. For example if want to be a runner, my end goal may be to run a race such as a 5k or a marathon. Once it is run, the goal is accomplished. In order to train for the marathon, I need to run daily or 5x a week or 3x a week. That is a process goal. I need to do the practice or training or process goal in order to complete the end goal. Another example is studying for a test at school. Studying and going to class is the process, and the test and the grade are the end goal.

The second pair are somewhat like the difference between right brain and left brain. The first believes in the unlimited power of the mind and wishes for anything as if you had a genie who could grant you anything. The other is to set goals that you know you can acheive and that are measurable. I call the first kind of goal, Wish Goals, and the second kind of goal, Concrete Goals.

For example, a wish goal is to win a race. That is not something we can control. A concrete goal is to run the mile in 4 min. Not achievable for all of us, but if we did, we would have the best chance to win the race.

I feel that both are valuable tools for mental training. Wish Goals are valuable for their emotional impact. Concrete goals help keep us on-track one step at a time.

Emotions should not be underestimated. The word contains another word within it, MOTION. Emotions are what drive us to act and do. The dictionary definition of Power is the ability to do or act. Emotions are the source of all our power.

If Wish Goals take us to heaven, Concrete goals bring us down to Earth. Concrete goals are specific, measurable and within our ability now. It's by doing what we can do now that we move in the direction of our wish goal.

If you look at your goals, or listen to other people's goals, they will fall into one of these categories. The point is not to say that one kind of goal is better than another, but to make what is coming out unconsciously into a conscious effort to accomplish the goal. What we want to do then, is integrate the four ways of goal setting into one. And one way to integrate our different types of goals is through a story, the story of our own success.

I want personal growth or human potential to be wholistic and practical. So when I think of the basic self in terms of Mind, Body, and Spirit, I want to have some exercise for each area of the basic self. I want to strengthen the body, sharpen the mind and open the spirit. And I want to have something to do for each area, and then integrate it all into one program for action.

Another part of our experience of life is what I call the outer self: that is the world you live in, the people in your life, including finally everyone, and whatever your relationship is with spirit as you experience it being beyond yourself. Like the physical body, the mental mind, and the spirit, the outer self could be divided into the world/earth/universe, community, and God.

Infinite Potential

I was at prescott college when I started thinking about how to define human potential and to create a practical program for self improvement.

I've heard it often said that our potential is infinite, and unlimited. Motivational and inspirational speakers say this kind of thing. On an emotional level, it is very powerful to hear this and think this way. On the logical side, I can think of millions of cases where this is obviously untrue. I can fly if I buy a plane ticket, but I'm not going to sprout wings like an angel by snapping my fingers and believing in my infinite potential. So infinite potential is hyperbole really.

But the emotional impact of freeing your thinking can help us to do what we previously thought was impossible. And a lot of what we take to be reality is in fact just our idea of reality. So the idea of infinite potential has some value if it is emotionally inspiring and helps us to break out of mentally constructions of limitation.

Well if we redefine what we mean by infinite, maybe there is some hope for infinity. Many "mind power" books have the idea that we live and perceive the finite, or manifest world or reality, but there is another, infinite side of reality that is unmanifest. And that unmanifest aspect of reality is accessible to all of us. And some books say it is accessible through our subconscious mind. And by getting in touch with the infinite, we can become co-creators of reality, and guide our own destiny.

Others describe the infinite as that part of us that is connected with God or infinite mind or Being. When we join spiritually with that, we can experience the infinite aspect of reality.

While infinite potential is partly hyperbole, it is on the one hand an emotional compass that can help people to break free of mental limitation; and as a spiritual concept, can also lead to a deeper understanding of reality. So the idea of infinite potential has practical benefits.

Beginnings

When I was about 17 years old, I went on a backpacking trip with Colorado Outward Bound. The experience was life-altering for me. After the trip was over, I felt alive, free and totally confident. Some of that has never left me. The experience functioned as a kind of initiation, I think. But the feelings didn't last forever.

Initiations are an experience of transformation and reintegration into society with a new identity. In my case at that time, before the experience, I felt restricted and constricted by something. I thought it was social mores at that time, but now I realize there is more than one way to percieve reality. After the Outward Bound experience, I felt unlimited and powerful. Sometimes when I hear people talk about "enlightenment", I feel that was a kind of "enlightenment" for me.

After high school, I joined the Marines, because I felt I needed to push my limits. After about a year I picked up a book with the subtitle, "mind power". I knew that if I was going to be competetive, I needed that book. And I felt, if there was one thing I could excel in, it would be "mind power". One of the suggestions was to act as if you already have what you want. And one of the things I wanted was to be a leader. So when I thought about what I needed to do to act as if I was a leader, I realized that I wasn't always doing the things a leader does. In fact, some of the time I was actively misbehaving in small ways as a kind of subversive rebellion. Suddenly I realized I was the cause of my own misfortune. I couldn't blame it on anyone else. And I could overcome all problems I had caused for myself by simply acting as if. Military leadership books and manuals also say the same thing: to lead by example, or to set the example, is the most powerful of all leadership traits.

Outward Bound and USMC boot camp both function as a kind of initiation. They are designed as such. So let's look at the way they are designed. Each has a three-part structure. In the beginning, you are dependent. In boot camp, they shave your hair and take away all your belongings. Anything that can give you a sense of identity. In outward bound they teach you how to navigate in the mountains, how to cook, and how to choose and set up camp. In boot camp they teach you how to walk and talk, and keep everything neat and tidy including your body, your bed and your weapon. In the second phase, there is a kind of guided independence. In boot camp, you are expected to do certain things without being told. In outward bound, the students lead for the day and the instructors follow at a safe but out of sight distance. And finally, in the third phase, you are treated as a new person. You pass some tests and you get a new identity. These initiation experiences mimic the natural psychological development of a human from dependent baby to semi-independent child and independent young adult.

I emerged from Outward Bound feeling that I could accomplish anything. Yet I still faced some inner limitations which stopped me from fully experiencing some of life. So I continued to explore the world of accessing my human potential. I'm still trying today to create flow in my life.

Along the way I've learned a few things about how the mind and body work, and some ideas that are practical for living a good life, and for moving into the flow.

Flow

Life flows forward, like a river flows, like a pathway that never ends. Flow is a state of enjoyment; and to enjoy life requires us to enter into the flow of life.